I Don't Even Know Who You Are Anymore
· by wendy · ohio
The fact of the matter is that I began this post last night at around 11 p.m. and found myself still typing away at around 2 a.m. It wasn’t from lack of things to say, I assure you. As I was wrapping up our story, I realized I had written the longest post in history. Not only that, tons of “important” pieces of the puzzle were missing. I’m truly considering using that post as an outline for my first ebook. Who’s to say if that would be interesting or not, but here’s a shortened version….
I realized that five years ago this past Saturday, October 13 marked a turning point in our lives. Not only was it the day we moved from the burbs to the city, it was also the day that Dusty proposed. Maybe it was that we were now a committed team, responsible for each other. Maybe it was the fact that we made the dramatic jump moving from suburbia to downtown, at the time a no-no in Cincinnati (“You’ll get shot!”). While I’m not sure if these two significant events were catalysts for what was to come, I do know that nothing has been the same since.
I remembered that a few years after graduation, when I would call up my old college friends, conversation would be struggle. Not because we were growing apart so much, but that we literally had nothing to say to each other. NOTHING INTERESTING WAS HAPPENING IN OUR LIVES.
Me: “What’s new?”
Me: “Come on, I haven’t talked to you in a while. What’s going on?”
Friend: “Wendy, it’s so sad, but literally, nothing. Nothing is happening to me at all. I’m so boring”
I remember agreeing with this friend. I, too, didn’t have much to say. We resorted to calling each other only when we had been drinking because at least then we could entertain each other with silliness. Adult life was so boring. I went to work, I came home, I went to bed. Repeat. How could that be interesting? Not much there to expand on. Nowadays, when we haven’t seen someone for a while, that same scenario goes a little differently. A recent conversation Dusty had with a friend went something like this….
Friend: “Dust, what’s new man? What have you guys been
up to? I haven’t seen you since your wedding 4 years
Dusty: “Well, I quit my job and do freelance work now. We rented our house, sold all of our things and traveled South America from top to bottom for 7 months.”
Dusty: “Then we came home but left again on a road trip through the U.S. East Coast for a month. Next, we traveled to Southeast Asia for a couple of months.”
Friend: Silence. Stunned.
Dusty: “Then we came home for a bit but then left again on a road trip through the Southwest U.S. for two months. Now Wendy is pregnant and we are expecting a little girl in January!”
Friend: “Ummm, hold on. WTF did you just say?”
Things have changed. Sometime about 5 years ago, I think we decided we didn’t want to be or feel boring anymore. I know for me it happened when I hit the age of 30. I had the typical, “Oh crap, what am I doing with my life?” thought process that many thirty year olds go through. I realized I was working at jobs I didn’t really care for. I had little free time and less money due to typical responsibilities and “luxury” expenditures of adult life. Sure, we had a nice house, two cars, a big TV and steady jobs. I remember coming home at night thinking, “Seriously? Is this what I’m going to do for the rest of my life!?” The thought of it made me angry and depressed.
It turns out all you have to do is change! Ha! So easy, right? All we had to do was start thinking about what WE WANTED instead of what was expected of us as laid out by our society and social circle. It took years of planning and commitment toward our goals, but we did it. It wasn’t easy. I am sure glad we took the initiative to live differently, though, even if it meant being different. In fact that was the biggest hurdle:
Deciding it was ok to be different.
Another big hurdle:
Deciding that you can change your mind about what you want in life.
Five years ago I was pretty certain I didn’t want children and now here I am excited as all get out to be a mom. We can’t wait to show our daughter the world and how she can do, go and be whatever she wants. There doesn’t have to be a set formula to life of go to school, get a job, buy a house, settle down. She should do whatever makes life worth living. It’s much more fun and fulfilling that way.